Saturday, January 07, 2006

The pull of time

Tonight is my last night at home, and the competitive, yet happy, shouts of neighbor children are piercing through the open window, a father’s deep voice occasionally overpowering them. An evening breeze is also penetrating, warm and spring-like.

I felt like a young girl again today. Warm weather tends to do that to me. My childhood friend and I spent the day together, laughing over our idyllic memories and talking about the future. Of course, a day dedicated to the old days would not be complete without a trip to the bookstore. So we made one.

I’ve said goodbye to her now though. And to Jenny. Tomorrow, Jenny and I will both go back to our respective schools.

I felt like a child today, but, facing the end of my first half of college, the adult world is feeling closer than ever. I’m not sure I’m ready for it. For the neighborhood to be spread across the globe. For young men to disrupt the friendship of the four sisters. For summers to pass in offices instead of at the pool. For spring days to be seen only through a pane of glass.

Time can’t be stopped though. And sometimes, I’m excited about the changes it brings. Still, I find comfort in remembering that I do not belong to time. In eternity, time’s unrelenting pull will break, and I’ll be free to live the timeless life that I was created for.

The game in the Zachary yard is over now, and the neighborhood is quiet -- all but the wind chimes and the sound of last year’s leaves blowing down the street. Pajama-clad little brothers are happy playing downstairs with their big sister, and the chatter of two other sisters drifts from down the hall. I remember a psalm I read recently: “Peace be within thy walls.” That’s certainly true tonight.

Tonight is my last night at home. Tomorrow I’ll return to school, and I’ll greet the last semester of my sophomore year. But I still have two wonderful years of college left. I’m not grown up yet. Perhaps I’ll just fully live each moment and leave the future to worry about itself.


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